Page 133 - THE ENDLESS WAVE | Skateboarding, Death & Spirituality

THE ENDLESS WAVE | PART TWO
How does one navigate this if there is no real way of telling what a friend or family member is thinking and feeling? Or if they haven’t opened up to talking to you about these kinds of things? If you have been experiencing this level of overwhelm yourself, what are some of your own warning signs and outlets? You might need to pay more attention to these so that you can be emotionally available to help yourself and others when these changes take place.
Skateboarding through its health benefits and release of feel-good brain chemicals, can be a great physical outlet for releasing stress. Emotions that require processing require deeper connections to one’s self and to others. Through the potentially diverse and enriching connections made through skateboarding, people can start to have more conversations, check in with and reach out to one another.
Whether someone has been contemplating suicide or focusing on their skate- board, it’s sad to say that the final choice is up to the individual involved. Though we can be instrumental in supporting them through processing and releasing their stressful and overwhelming situations, ultimately the end re- sult does not sit with us. I know that if someone follows through with either of the two acts, it’s common for a close friend or family trying to work with the suicide victim to take the blame and feel very responsible for what has happened, despite their best efforts to steer them in the other direction. Typi- cally, there are questions raised and comments made, “I could have done some- thing”, “it’s all my fault, I’m the reason they’re gone”, “I wish I had reached out to them earlier.”
Despite the circumstances, I do know that any effort is better than no effort and though someone following through may not express it, your efforts are greatly appreciated to the victim and their family and friends. The convincing and counselling efforts are a reminder that someone does care for them.
There is a lot of judgement around suicide, just as there is with someone fo- cussing their skateboard to end the session in frustration. The biggest emo- tion that I have observed to follow both of these acts is regret.
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