Page 18 - THE ENDLESS WAVE | Skateboarding, Death & Spirituality
P. 18

THE ENDLESS WAVE | PART ONE
it is also very rare that we transfer someone who is young. I will discuss what it is like dealing with young people in a future chapter.
As we move the body from the bed to the stretcher, we are careful to ensure the body is treated with the utmost respect. All eyes are on us. Sometimes, the family won’t want to be present as we move the body from the bed to the stretcher. Other times, they will glare at us with an intensity that is almost palpable. They are watching our every move. I don’t blame them — after all, we are doing something that they hoped would never happen. We can’t make any mistakes. Sometimes a body will be fairly light. Other times, we encounter quite a bit of difficulty in moving someone. We have to be very careful that we don’t hit any walls or fall with the stretcher down the stairs.
Many times, if a person has died at home, you will encounter the caregivers along with the family members. While the caregivers are not related by blood to the deceased, they grieve just as much. Sometimes, they grieve even more.
Entering someone’s private home who you don’t know can be somewhat sur- real. You’re not there to pay a social visit. It’s not an open house or a party. You have to be very aware of your surroundings. Respect is the keyword along with keeping a level head. You must remain professional and calm, even though you are witnessing death up close. It’s not a movie or reality tv — it is just reality.
I’d say that to do this type of work, you need a fair amount of emotional intel- ligence. What is emotional intelligence? Here’s a definition I found:
Emotional intelligence (or emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions positively to relieve stress, communicate effec- tively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
Believe it or not, I think EQ is something that some skateboarders have a gen- uine gift for. You need the ability to read a situation quickly. Death brings about so many emotions. Empathy plays a big role. There is grief, relief and in some cases genuine surprise. I once picked up a 98-year-old and the spouse was crying and wailing. She couldn’t believe her husband had died. She was
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