Page 49 - THE ENDLESS WAVE | Skateboarding, Death & Spirituality

THE ENDLESS WAVE | PART ONE
Things Said And Not Said
Perhaps one of the more challenging parts of my job is to be present at an ID. An ID is when the deceased is lying in the casket in the back of the coach and the family requests to view the body. This takes place during the start of a funeral. Holding up an umbrella for privacy, we carefully lift open the casket, and the family is free to share any last words or to simply gaze at the face of their loved one.
To see grief this close and personal every week requires a certain mindset. While I have no connection to the people who are in mourning, I can empa- thize with them. Although I have done this many times, you never know what to prepare for. I’d like to share with you one experience that took place over two years ago but will forever be seared into my memory.
The parents had divorced, and the children were in their early to mid-teens. Tragically, the ex-husband had overdosed on drugs. I seem to recall he was in his mid 40’s. From what I could understand, drugs had shattered the marriage and most of the relationships with the children. At the casket, there was truly a feeling of dread and regret. Dread, because I sense that both family and friends had a gut feeling this day was coming and regret because they all felt powerless to stop it from happening.
As the tears flowed, the family tried to support each other through this re- markably difficult time. The children dropped letters into the casket and
43