Page 52 - THE ENDLESS WAVE | Skateboarding, Death & Spirituality

THE ENDLESS WAVE | PART ONE
What is the real bucket list? The REAL bucket list consists of just ONE item. But this item is so critical that it supersedes all the other items and lists. Oftentimes when I am at a funeral, I will learn about the many trips that the deceased went on with their spouse. Or I’ll learn about the volunteer work that the person did. The most popular thing I hear from grandchildren concerns the amount of time they spend with their grandparents. These stories are al- ways touching when you hear them because you know that the time put into building and strengthening these relationships transcends time. The mem- ories are all you have left when a person passes.
The real bucket list is about spending time with the people you love and care deeply about. Creating memories in some far-off place you’ve wanted to visit is an admirable goal. You start to see patterns when you hear as many eulogies as I do. I can almost instantly tell by how a family grieves what kind of parents or grandparents the deceased were. If the time was put into generating thou- sands of memories, you can just feel it.
Please understand that I don’t want to take anything from bucket lists. It’s impor- tant to have goals and dreams. But while you are waiting for the clock to run down on your life as an employee and begin retirement, many things can happen.
As you get older, there are moments when you reflect on decisions you’ve made. These are things that you’ve done or in some cases, not done. I think you can gain quite a bit of insight from these reflections, but I believe it is im- portant to frame them correctly and limit the number of times you do this. Castigating yourself for a poor decision can lead to bitterness and depression.
Often, people will blame themselves for a job offer not taken or a financial decision that didn’t quite pan out. One of my co-workers could have bought an apartment complex in Toronto in the late 1970’s for under $50,000. It’s probably worth over $3,000,000 today. He constantly reminds me of this painful mistake.
He has a bucket list of places he wants to visit. He’s got the money, and if he wants, he could retire tomorrow, but his wife doesn’t want to travel. They’ve
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